A Note Most Poetic, And Rather Pathetic
by everyday-deeds
Summary: Death Note as you've never read it before- in bizarrely structured poems with an emphasis on lunacy. Crack, but strangely amusing to write.
1. Chapter 1

**Don't ask. Please. And I don't own Death Note.**

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><p>There once was a Death God named Ryuk,<br>Who came down to Earth with a notebook.  
>Light was a good student<br>Who was quite imprudent  
>And decided that he'd take a look.<p>

The notebook contained a set of rules  
>Comprehensible even to fools.<br>But no fool was Light,  
>He was, in fact, rather bright;<br>The top of his class at school.

"Killing someone by writing a name?  
>Surely this is a joke rather lame!"<br>That was Light's thought,  
>But his curiosity fought,<br>And got the better of his shame.

Taking a pen and watching the news,  
>He saw a hostage crisis to use.<br>He wrote down the name  
>Of the criminal to blame<br>Thinking he had nothing to lose.

To Light's amazement the criminal died,  
>And all the hostages emerged alive.<br>He at first was in shock,  
>As though beaned by a rock.<br>But chose to give the notebook a test drive.

He made his way to his class as usual,  
>And saw his schoolmates being brutal.<br>From a desire to avoid suspicion,  
>He killed a stranger with extreme precision<br>To stop a harassment sexual.

When Ryuk found him five days later  
>It was hard to say whose surprise was greater.<br>The Death God's appearance took Light aback,  
>While Ryuk was impressed that Light was intact<br>After killing off criminals like nothing was greater.

Ryuk told Light unashamedly  
>That he would stand by and watch him idly<br>But when the time came  
>He would write down Light's name<br>In the notebook, and Light took this mildly.

Meanwhile in a meeting of police  
>The killings were causing much grief.<br>A stranger was watching,  
>And mildly scoffing,<br>For he would be their only relief.

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><p><strong> I think I just had to get this out of my system; I tried to fight it, but couldn't get the first stanza out of my head for months. If you enjoy <span>Death Note<span> being retold in poorly written rhymes, I am open to continuing this, but you have to tell me :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well... yeah. People seemed to want more of this. And when WhiteLadyDragon asked why I hadn't continued it, I checked the doc and found I had written some stanzas- well, I figured I could get it up and running :) ****This is chapters 2 and 3.**

**Still don't own anything.**

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><p>The police knew they needed a detective,<br>Preferably the one most effective  
>In solving strange crimes.<br>But at the best of times  
>'L' was always very selective.<p>

But L had taken an interest  
>In Kira, so their worries were needless.<br>They brought him in on the case  
>Not knowing his face,<br>And listening to him were struck speechless.

Meanwhile Light was savoring  
>The rise of Kira's following.<br>He declaimed about people  
>And good and evil<br>Till he saw what the news was broadcasting:

A man announced that he was 'L'  
>A detective whose talents were swell.<br>He said Light was vile,  
>Which got the boy riled,<br>And he killed the man swiftly and well.

But there was a slight problem for Light  
>The real 'L' was also quite bright<br>And had found a proxy  
>By means most foxy,<br>And the proxy was the man Light had iced.

Meanwhile the police were diligently  
>Striving to find Kira's identity<br>They looked at the times  
>Of each of the crimes<br>And discoursed on Kira's popularity.

Meanwhile Light was helping  
>His sister with equation solving.<br>He hid the note swiftly,  
>For Ryuk's visibility<br>Was compromised by Sayu's visiting.

He proceeded then to baffle police  
>By killing at any time with ease.<br>L was annoyed and fairly sure  
>That Kira was trying to lure<br>Him out and was being a tease.

Ryuk himself was interested  
>In the confidence Light projected.<br>When Light's father came home,  
>Light's reasons were shown.<br>His father of police was Deputy Head.

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><p><strong>Yeah, this still hasn't lost any of its bizarreness.<br>**

**If you liked it, let me know! XD  
><strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**So this took me a while, as I think this story will. But the lovely sabrina4455** **reviewed and it kickstarted me on getting this next part up. **

**This section is chapters 4-6 of the original manga, which I still do not own or have any affiliation with.**

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><p>Light took measures to hide the notebook<br>While L pondered the crimes in an unseen nook.  
>Ryuk wondered why Light<br>Who he knew to be bright,  
>Was giving L hints as to where to look.<p>

Light explained he had to find L  
>And he knew the police quite well.<br>They would investigate,  
>Reveal L to fate,<br>And Light then would send him to hell.

Meanwhile police resigned from fear:  
>"We've had enough of the goings-on here.<br>L is hiding away  
>While every day<br>We risk our lives and families dear."

Light hid the note in a place fantastic  
>With fuel, electricity, and some tricks.<br>It would burst into flame  
>If anyone came.<br>(Just forget gasoline burns through plastic).

L reviewed and called in the FBI,  
>One tailed Light and caught Ryuk's eye.<br>He pointed out the man  
>And Light began to plan<br>How to use this in a manner most sly.

Ryuk revealed that Shinagimi survived  
>By killing and taking the years of lives.<br>Names they could see  
>And lifespans free,<br>But Light would have to trade for their eyes.

Light chose not to make the trade;  
>He wanted to live long in the world he made.<br>He philosophized more  
>Then went back to work, for<br>He had to shake the follower he'd gained.

He went on to kill at random times,  
>Sending messages, riddles, and rhymes.<br>L was frustrated  
>His cool faded,<br>But he guessed Kira was testing his mind.

Light found out his plan had worked.  
>The details of death in the computer lurked.<br>He saw his schedule  
>Had played out quite well;<br>Only the impossible the notebook had shirked.

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><p><strong>Seriously, Light's plan for hiding the Death Note, though it's quite ingenious, would have resulted in it getting soaked in gasoline- plastic bags cannot hold that substance, they just get eaten through. Something to do with the molecular structure of the material, which I can't remember in detail.<strong>

**Review and I may actually update in a timely fashion next time!  
><strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**This is still going on, though I don't know for how much longer- I've got a serious story in the works that should be up in a week or so (yes, I'm actually capable of writing serious things. Really and truly). Not to mention college takes up my time and this project is just bizarre.**

**Still don't own Death Note. Though if I did this is probably how I would tell it. This is chapters 7 and 8 of the manga.  
><strong>

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><p>Light prepared himself for a date<br>Knowing he had a plan quite great  
>To dispose of the agent<br>In a daring gambit  
>With a bus and a criminal's fate.<p>

When Light and Yuri got on the bus  
>The agent followed without a fuss.<br>Then the criminal came  
>And without shame<br>Began shouting and waving a blunderbuss.

While the criminal made a scene  
>Light told Yuri not to scream<br>While he went for the man.  
>And according to plan,<br>The agent began to intervene.

He informed Light that he was FBI,  
>And that Light should let him handle the guy.<br>Light asked for ID  
>Which was the key<br>For the agent to be sent to the sky.

After obtaining the agent's name  
>Light made his next move in the game.<br>He dropped in the aisle  
>A Death Note to rile<br>The criminal and make him insane.

When the man caught sight of Ryuk  
>He was quite sure his goose was cooked.<br>His screams of fear  
>Were loud and clear.<br>His fate had already been booked.

When he tried to flee the scene  
>He fell to the road with a cry obscene<br>A car was coming  
>Its tires thrumming,<br>And alive he was no longer seen.

After the crash, the agent dropped in  
>To see his fiancée and tell her of the din.<br>She made suggestions;  
>He crushed her objections,<br>And told her she should stay in the kitchen.

Several days later, all Japanese-stationed  
>FBI were killed without discrimination<br>L was in shock,  
>The agency was rocked,<br>And assistance vanished from Americans.


End file.
